Today is my birthday, and I woke up pretty early with you on my mind. I talk to you in my mind often, hoping that you are busy at being the best spouse you can be. I don’t know why it’s so important to me that you have a great marriage. Maybe it’s because I hear of so many marriages that could be so much better than they are if the couple would only practice basic principals of consideration for one another and develop habits that would foster good communication. Maybe it’s because I have seen my own marriage flourish because we adhere to these principles and habits.
I have said so often that the Bible has the answers to most of life’s problems. In fact, I can’t think of any situation that the Bible wouldn’t be helpful with our day-to-day issues, and the art of marriage is definitely found in the treasures of God’s Word. Perhaps one of the key principles is in the Golden Rule. Are you treating your spouse the way you would love to be treated? Are you putting your own desires ahead of your wife? Are you speaking to your husband with a loving tone or a nagging one? Do you ever speak to your spouse in a demeaning way? Do you check yourself on how you are doing in your quest to be the best partner you can be?
I have been thinking a lot about how a husband and wife talk to each other. Sometimes when you are tired or stressed or even preoccupied it would be easy to snap at the one you love the most. If that is a habit for you, do everything you can to change. If you take this to God in prayer I really believe he will honor that, because it is his good and perfect will for you. I think it’s a good idea to make a pact with each other to begin the habit of only being gentle and kind with one another. If one of you feels like the tone or the rhetoric is off, you can come up with a fun phrase to let the other one know so he or she can check it and nip it right there. It will become second nature to speak in loving tones with one another and that will create a safe and respectful environment. If you have children, it is vital for them to see kindness modeled by their parents.
So this is my birthday gift to you. It’s an investment in a lifetime adventure with the person you promised to love and cherish for the rest of your life. It’s intentional. It’s at times self-sacrificing. It will probably involve working on your own heart. The reward will never stop, because not only will your spouse be happier, but you will be a happier, more peaceful person.
Proverbs 16:24 (NIV), “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Luke 6:45 (NIV), “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
