Thankful

Today is Kerry’s birthday. I said to him this morning that this might be my favorite day, because this is the date he was born. Saying that out loud made me think about how I don’t want to ever take my husband for granted. I mean he is here day in and day out. Has been for a long time. It would be easy to take it all for granted.

I know when I was in my twenties and thirties I really didn’t think much about being thankful for him. I was just busy doing life and raising children. And, of course, he was always there. As I have gotten older, I think regularly about how precious each and every day is and what a gift my husband is to me. I think it’s something young people should learn early on—being grateful and appreciative of the little things. It makes life so much more fun to stop and be grateful and to express thanks—to God and to each other.

So today we celebrate the date Kerry was born. And tomorrow I will celebrate my husband. And the day after that. And the day after that. If you aren’t already, I hope you will get in the habit and practice of celebrating your spouse every day. Don’t let the busyness of life and the habit of expectation get in the way of remembering how precious your marriage is.

I would love to hear about some of the creative ways you have employed this in your marriage!

What Did You Say?

With the stress and pressures that life brings, it is easy to slip into self-focus and not be patient and understanding with our spouses. We can begin to take each other for granted and maybe not be so pleasant to have around. We don’t do it on purpose, or with the intent to hurt our spouses or hurt our relationships, but sometimes we stop treating each other the way we did in the beginning of marriage. Take some time and ask yourself how you are communicating with your spouse. Is it pleasant, engaging, encouraging, uplifting? Is it demanding, whining, irritated, disrespectful, even insulting? How can you set the tone for the environment in your home to be loving and respectful?

Women and men are wired to respond favorably in different ways.  Women thrive on feeling cherished, men on feeling respected. Is that still how things are working in your relationship? Ask yourself before you make a comment: how is this going to be received? Am I going to make things better or worse with this comment? The bottom line is to treat others the way I want to be treated. Am I speaking to my spouse the way I want to be spoken to?

In order for you to be the kind of spouse you want to be, it is so important that you are connected to your energy source: God. The first lesson in 2 to 1 is “Trust God.” The illustration is the triangle diagram, showing how the closer we get to God the closer we are with each other. Are you making sure that you have time with God on a regular basis? That is going to be the most important source for you in all the trials, decisions, happy times, and stressful times for the rest of your lives. Please don’t ever let that slip away.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7 (NIV)