How do you greet each other at the end of a busy day? Does your body
language as well as your words show that you are glad to see your spouse? Many
of you know that I have a rule that Kerry has to kiss me goodbye and hello when
he leaves and when he gets home. It kind of grounds us and forces us to be in
the same space. Often times, when he gets home, I am upstairs in my “woman cave”
and really don’t want to stop what I am doing. I make the choice (most of the time) to put away what I am doing and come down
to greet him. I want him to know I am glad to see him. When the girls were
little, they would always run in and yell, “Daddy’s home!” I hope that made him
feel special. I want him to feel special. Always.
Many of you have children, and boy, does life get crazy and packed
and tired and absorbed. Heck, even without children life gets that way. We
never have enough time to do all the things on the list. I think the term
“quality time” has lost some meaning, but just being in the same room together
doesn’t mean you are together. Are
you talking to each other? Are you asking questions that matter? Are you giving
your full attention to your spouse and doing it often? Or are you mostly
looking at your phone, on your computer, watching television, or doing chores?
There is nothing wrong with any of that, just so you are balancing it with
making your spouse feel like he or she is respected and cherished.
Kerry always says that you should never give each other the
leftovers at the end of the day. We give our best to each other. That is not always
easy. Sometimes it is just a choice.
With more and more distractions on computers and smartphones and
television, you can quickly get out of the habit of talking. You need to find
creative ways to spend time together talking and laughing. When Kerry and I
were younger, we used to play Backgammon. It was lots of fun looking at each
other and laughing together. You are married people. Think of creative ways to
play. What a great reason to hurry home!
