It is amazing how easily accessible pornography is these days. You almost don’t even have to be searching for it and it’s there, luring you to partake. Remember the stories of Sirens, who lured sailors into dangerous waters and they were lost? Are you being careful with what you are looking at and listening to? What you allow into your mind and spirit is so very important in keeping your heart clean and your marriage healthy. Pornography is not only incredibly accessible, it is constantly in your face. It is like an insidious virus, running rampant. While you might think it is unimportant and not a big deal, before you know it, you are infected. Do you want to stay healthy? You have to be intentional about what you put in your body. The same thing applies to your mind and spirit. What may seem insignificant to you could lead you through doors you never thought you would enter. It is not safe to play around with, and you should absolutely get help if you struggle with the temptation.
There is a famous story in the Bible about how quickly life can get out of control. It is the story of King David and his affair with Bathsheba. It all started with what David allowed his eyes to see as he watched her bathing on her rooftop. You know the story and that it ends very painfully for David. It didn’t just affect him, it affected all those around him for many years to come. He didn’t set out to destroy lives, but it happened with what began as a seemingly innocent visual. In Psalm 51 David cries out to God about his transgression: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” Psalm 51:10 (NIV).
There are so many times when I consider the “rules” God has set in place for us to follow that seem counterintuitive to us but really only lead to freedom. As I was thinking about this topic and of the benefits of purity in a sexual relationship, I decided to look up the definition of the word purity: freedom from guilt or evil, innocence. Freedom! And the opposite of freedom is bondage. That is exactly what happens when the tentacles of pornography wrap around the mind of a person. God wants the sexual relationship of a married couple to thrive and be enjoyed. It is a vital part of marriage, and you should be intentional to protect it, to nurture it.
If you, as a husband, are viewing pornography, you are harming your own mind and spirit. If your wife knows that you are doing this, you are doing damage to her self esteem and her trust and respect for you. A woman feels devalued when her husband chooses to look at other women with lust, even if they are only pictures of women. A marriage should mean security, safety, a refuge from the arrows of the world. All of that is threatened when pornography is introduced in the relationship. And believe me, it affects both partners in the marriage.
Women are not exempt from this area of sin. The popularity of the novel and subsequent movie Fifty Shades of Grey is a sad testament to how desensitized people have become. God created sex as a wonderful bond and pleasure for a married couple. Media like this destroys the possibility of purity between a couple, which is exactly what Satan wants. It can also cause dissatisfaction in a relationship if a spouse is compared to a fictional character and he or she doesn’t measure up.
"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace" Romans 8:6 (NIV). In this verse, the word flesh is not referring to pornography, it is referring to how we live apart from God, on our own and not dependent on him. But I think this fits right in with what happens to a person when pornography is introduced into his or her life. It is powerful. It is addictive. It is a destroyer. It has no place in a marriage centered on God. Don’t be lured by the Sirens.
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